


step by step

by lovelylogans



Category: Sanders Sides, Sanders Sides (Web Series), Thomas Sanders, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders - Freeform, Baking, Cookies, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders - Freeform, Cupcakes, Food Fight, Gen, Happy Birthday Patton!!, Logic | Logan Sanders - Freeform, Morality | Patton Sanders - Freeform, Sanders Sides (Video Blogging RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-02-17 11:49:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13076262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelylogans/pseuds/lovelylogans
Summary: An afternoon in the mindscape, a quiet ritual done many times before. A recipe followed to the letter.





	1. patton's chocolate chip cookie recipe: the bestest cookies ever!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Adapted from [this recipe.](https://www.buzzfeed.com/lindsayhunt/ultimate-chocolate-chip-cookies?utm_term=.fuPeZrpEW#.hu3MgqVb3) Tumblr is [lovelylogans!](lovelylogans.tumblr.com)

**Patton's Bestest Ever Chocolate Chip Cookies!!**

**Ingredients:**

  * 1 cup unsalted butter
  * 1 1/4 cups packed light brown sugar
  * 3/4 cup granulated sugar
  * 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
  * 1 tsp baking soda
  * 2 large eggs
  * 2 tsp vanilla extract
  * 3/4 tsp flaky sea salt
  * 2 cups semisweet chocolate chips



**Equipment:**

  * 2 medium bowls
  * Flexible spatula
  * Cookie dough scoop
  * "This Dad is Flipping Awesome" apron
  * Phone with access to music streaming service
  * Egg timer
  * _Fire Safety: The Basics of Ensuring the Mindscape Does Not Burn Down_



****Step 1:** **

Make sure Logan isn't using any of the equipment for a science experiment, make sure Roman hasn't stolen any of the cookie sheets to use as makeshift shields, and ensure that no one has stolen the chocolate supply. 

**Step 2:**

Put on Virgil's designated baking playlist. Put on apron Roman created for him. Consult stained, worn, dog-eared fire safety packet Logan and Virgil assembled years ago.

**Step 3:**

Whisk the flour, salt, and baking soda in a medium bowl. Set aside. Send text to Virgil asking about the newest song on baking playlist.

**Step 4:**

Whisk both sugars into a large bowl. Add the melted butter and whisk vigorously for about 1 minute, until the mixture forms one mass and starts to pull away from the side of the bowl. Have conversation with Virgil in which he casually establishes himself in the kitchen to stick his fingers into the process. Squeal to self in glee that he is taking steps towards initiating socialization.

**Step 5:**

Whisk in one egg to the sugar-butter mixture, stir until fully mixed in. Scrape the sides of the bowl with a flexible spatula. Allow yourself time to sniff at the vanilla essence before dumping it into the bowl. Talk with Virgil about latest baking ideas. Ask after emo son's mental state in a subtle way. Whisk in second egg and vanilla. Scrape the sides of the bowl again.

**Step 6:**

Pause baking process to make a snack for Virgil and Logan. Send text to Roman to ensure this afternoon's quest is going well. Send Virgil up to check on Logan. Barge into Logan's office if there is no response to Virgil. Mention that cookies are in the process of being made. Watch Logan casually saunter down to the kitchen to keep the oven within his sights. Exchange smug look with Virgil.

**Step 7:**

Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients and stir. Make sure there are no streaks of dry ingredients left. Stir in chocolate chips. Sneak a couple handfuls of chocolate chips. Scold Logan if he attempts to do the same.

**Step 8:**

Refrigerate dough for at least 10 minutes as the oven preheats to 375º F. Send obligatory selfie with dough to Roman. Remove dough from fridge. Scoop the dough into tiny balls and distribute along cookie sheets. Scold Virgil about the dangers of ingesting raw cookie dough. Eat raw cookie dough when Virgil's back is turned. Endure Logan's lecture about the dangers of ingesting raw cookie dough. Ignore sly comments about hypocrisy from Virgil. 

**Step 9:**

Relocate to living room with Logan and Virgil while keeping an eye on egg timer. Baking lasts just short of one episode of Steven Universe. 

****Step 10:** **

Let cool for about five minutes, and transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Distract Logan and Virgil with mention of existentialism for the purposes of a debate. Waylay Roman as he bursts in from latest quest. Get sidetracked while listening to the latest story about the latest vanquished enemy. Intervene in argument about the logicality of the dreamscape between Roman and Logan. Remember cookies when they have cooled completely.

**Step 11:**

Pour four glasses of milk. Lecture Virgil and Roman about trying to steal cookies before they are plated. Lecture Logan when he looks smug about their sheepishness. Distribute cookies equally onto plates. Protest when others give him a cookie from their plates as payment for baking them but ultimately accept. Blush way through compliments about cookies. Bask in company of other three sides.

**Serving size: One family.**


	2. patton's birthday bonanza!

**Patton's Chocolate Brownie Birthday Cupcakes!!!**

**Ingredients:**

  * _for cupcakes:_
  * 1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted and cooled
  * 1 1/4 cups sugar
  * 2 large eggs
  * 1/2 cup milk
  * 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  * 1/2 cup dutch-pressed cocoa powder
  * 1 1/4 cups all-purpose flower
  * 3/4 teaspoon baking powder
  * 1 teaspoon salt
  * _for frosting:_
  * 3/4 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
  * 3/4 cup cocoa powder
  * 1/4 cup milk
  * 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
  * 1/2 teaspoon salt
  * rainbow sprinkles



**Equipment:**

  * 1 electric mixer
  * Large bowl
  * 12 cupcake liners
  * Muffin tin
  * Egg timer
  * Piping bag with large star tip
  * 3 aprons of varying designs
  * A well-stocked kitchen
  * _Fire Safety: The Basics of Ensuring the Mindscape Does Not Burn Down_



**Step 1:**

Ensure that Patton is in deep REM sleep before going to wake the other two sides. Dodge projectile Roman has aimed at the door, and scold Roman for constructing a functioning polybolos to harm anyone who interrupts his "beauty sleep." Explain idea. Regret it in approximately three seconds.

**Step 2:**

Follow Roman to Virgil's room. Attempt to dissaude Roman from bouncing on Virgil's bed to wake him. Fail. Try not to laugh at Roman from where he has landed on the floor, complaining about his bruised everything. Inform Roman you warned him. Ignore glare. Explain idea to Virgil. Wait for Virgil to wake fully. Realize that caffeine is probably necessary.

**Step 3:**

Brew pot of coffee. Stop Virgil from drinking directly from the pitcher. Pour him a sizable mug. Shush Roman when he starts chanting for Virgil to "chug it." Monitor Virgil with resignation to ensure that he does not choke while chugging his coffee.

**Step 4:**

Consult online recipe. Attempt to gather all ingredients and supplies. Quietly curse Patton's nonsensical kitchen arrangement. Break for fifteen minutes as he researches the difference between "dutch-pressed" cocoa powder and normal cocoa powder, as Virgil reads the fire safety packet, and as Roman dramatically drapes himself across the counter.

**Step 5:**

Watch Virgil push Roman off the counter. Listen to Roman complain about being bruised everywhere, again. 

**Step 6:**

Tolerate various aprons Roman conjures for them. Break up argument on which of the sides are the closest to Belle, Logan or Roman, even though Virgil is clearly correct. Preheat oven.

**Step 7:**  

Plug in mixer and pour in sugar and butter, as directed. Attempt to waylay Roman from dumping in the eggs, milk, and vanilla extract before everything is fully mixed together. Fail. Sigh and oversee bowl as Virgil and Roman argue over which cupcake liners to use.

**Step 8:**

Turn speed to low and add in cocoa powder, flour, baking powder, and salt. Examine sludgy mixture and hope that it will even out with more mixing. Resist urge to put speed back on high. Listen to Virgil worry about forgetting an ingredient. Intercede before Roman can dump in even more baking powder. Direct them back towards the cupcake liners argument.

**Step 9:**

Decide each will select four cupcake liners. Select plain black liners. Carefully place Virgil's purple plaid liners in a line between his and Roman's rainbow ones. Scoop cupcake batter into liners. Place muffin tin into oven. Set timer.

**Step 10:**

Suggest start making the frosting. Ask Virgil to bring over the cocoa powder. Watch as Virgil grabs it and moves to hand it to Roman. Notice when it's too late that the top is open. Watch the cocoa powder vacate the bag, fly through the air, and land on Roman's apron. Watch Roman start to look _very_ offended. Watch Virgil press his lips together. Attempt to suppress laughter. Fail.

**Step 11:**

War.

* * *

"Um," Patton announces from the doorway, and Virgil freezes from where he's about to smash the remnants of a banana into Logan's back.

Logan's not nearly so lucky. He can't hold back his momentum, and as Roman turns to face Patton, innocently holding up a rolling pin, Logan slams a handful of chocolate pudding over Roman's head.

Roman yelps, readying the rolling pin, and Patton says loudly, "Okay!"

At that moment, the timer goes off.

"The cupcakes!" Virgil yelps, and Roman flicks his wrists, oven mitts encompassing his hands as he marches for the oven, pulling them out.

"Cup... cakes?" Patton says, looking even more confused. He rubs his eyes. He's wearing blue fluffy socks, soft, pink flannel pants, and an old, too-tight t-shirt declaring _don't stop retrievin'_ ,  _hold onto that feline,_ the lettering and images cracked and faded.

"It's the anniversary the first day you appeared in one of Thomas' videos," Logan says, removing his flour-caked glasses so he could see Patton, albeit rather fuzzy and soft-edged now. "Your birthday."

Patton starts to smile.

"We thought you could bring you breakfast in bed," Roman says, "Breakfast being dessert, of course, because birthdays are meant for sugar—"

Patton's grinning wider, now, unnoticed by the others, who are all staring at the gross kitchen floor in consternation.

"Because you bake for us all the time," Virgil says. "So Logan came up with the idea of us trying to bake something. For once."

"Aw, you  _guys,"_ Patton squeals, hands reaching for Virgil, remembering his dirtiness, and going to his cheeks instead as he bounces happily on his feet. "I would totally call for a group hug right now but all of you are kinda gross!"

Virgil looks up, then Roman and Logan. Virgil clears his throat, rubbing at his nose with his thumb, trying to look more chill. "You're not... mad?"

"Oh, you're all absolutely going to clean the kitchen," Patton says, still grinning. "And you guys have to go take a shower, like, right now. And you're going to replace all the stuff you wasted. But no, of course not! You guys were trying to surprise me! I mean, it was really—"

"No, wait, don't," Logan says desperately, as he catches the look on Patton's face.

"— _sweet_ of all of you!"

Roman and Virgil snicker as Logan groans.

"You have to let me pun today, Logan, it's my  _birthday,"_ Patton says, beaming. "Now all of you go clean up, we can ice all the cupcakes after that."

* * *

**Step 12** :

Shower, get dressed in new clothes, and clean off glasses.

**Step 13:**

Patton tactfully takes over the icing, which is good, as none of them know what "cream the butter" means. He distributes the icing into four piping bags, distributes a cupcake per type of liner to each person, and they all start to ice. Sprinkle liberally with rainbow sprinkles.

**Step 14:**

Stick a candle in the top of one of Patton's cupcakes. Stick a cheap cardboard cone hat on top of Patton's head. Attempt to sing the song, which consists of Logan going monotone, Roman doing riffs on every note, and Virgil mumbling along. Patton claps along anyways, and leans forwards to blow out the candle.

**Step 15:**  

Eat cupcakes for breakfast. Accept Patton's kisses on each of their cheeks, and do not notice until they all look at each other that Patton has left a chocolatey lip print on each of them. 

**Step 16:**

Gather cleaning supplies. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday to the dadliest boi! i love him! [Virgil's apron](https://img1.etsystatic.com/201/1/10577908/il_340x270.1263485081_3esy.jpg), [Logan's apron](https://i3.cpcache.com/product/546879960/chemist_chef_apron_dark.jpg?width=550&height=550&Filters=%5B%7B%22name%22%3A%22crop%22%2C%22value%22%3A%7B%22x%22%3A91.7%2C%22y%22%3A0%2C%22w%22%3A366.7%2C%22h%22%3A440.0%7D%2C%22sequence%22%3A1%7D%2C%7B%22name%22%3A%22background%22%2C%22value%22%3A%22F2F2F2%22%2C%22sequence%22%3A2%7D%5D), [Roman's apron](https://www.themarysue.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/Disney-Princess-Aprons7.jpeg), and [Patton's birthday hat](https://www.thepartychoice.com/image/cache/catalog/Accessories/Happy-birthday-layer-blue-hat-500x500.png). Adapted from [this recipe](https://bromabakery.com/2016/09/chocolate-brownie-birthdya-cupcakes-recipe.html) Tumblr is [lovelylogans!](https://lovelylogans.tumblr.com)


End file.
